I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
