This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
