white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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