Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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