i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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