Can i not drive my cunt home
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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