so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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