Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
