At least make sure they are 18
Why
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
