Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Can I color on your dick again?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
