you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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