the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
