I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize