how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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