a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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