He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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