did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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