You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
