i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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