I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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