Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
