mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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