this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
