How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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