I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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