you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
