Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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