Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
