Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We left the knife in your bed.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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