also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
