rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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