Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
