i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the day after is always just damage control
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize