Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
