It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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