If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
