Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
