3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
