I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
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