i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
