Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
