Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck