I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
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Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.