tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
