I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.