$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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