Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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