I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
