theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
