Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
