I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
