you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
