YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
