it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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