she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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