You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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