we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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