Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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