Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
