your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize