i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
