butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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