you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
