2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
